Ever since i got back from tamarack, i've been wanting to be different. be happier, deeper, better. I've never been good at the deep, emotional parts of relationships because i've never known what to do. what to say. but now i realize that i don't need to know what to say. sometimes they just need a hug, or someone to listen to them. so i want to try harder; be better at it. i know its not gonna be easy, but i'm giving it a chance. i've never been very trusting of people. and believe me, its not you guys, its me. i'm just afraid. thats it, plain and simple.
so please forgive me if i've ever done something, or not said something i should have. i'm sorry. and if i ever, ever try to shy away from something, tell me. please. i'm begging you. tamarack has given me the boost i needed, and with God's help, i think i can do it. I'm constantly praying that i will have the right words to say, but have never been bold enough to see if He will answer my prayer.
I guess i'll find out soon enough.
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